The Top 113 Shows At Dave's Leicester Comedy Festival 2016

So I've gone through the brochure for Dave's Leicester Comedy Festival 2016 with a fine tooth-comb to bash out my list of the Top 113 shows, no more, no less. Here they all are in one place for your perusal. Some of this lot are bringing special one-off shows you can't see anywhere else, some are bringing their polished, perfected 2015 Edinburgh shows, some are bringing rough-and-ready work-in-progress shows, some are doing a bit of all three, but all will be lots of fun. Make sure you give these shows a look if you're planning on doing DLCF with any degree of seriousness next year. Also, if you're a comedian doing Leicester and I haven't included you, I'm really sorry. I put this together over Christmas in between reading a collection of Chekhov stories and The God Of Small Things by Arundhati Roy, and I was really excited about both of them, so I may have missed some things. Just know that IF YOU'RE NOT IN THIS LIST, YOU WILL HAVE AN AWFUL TIME IN LEICESTER.

Adam Hess Time - Foster's Newcomer Nominee 2015 does some work-in-progress shows on a bus. Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 19:15, 12th February. Heroes @ The Criterion, 19:00, 13th February. Paid

Adam Larter: There My Hat! - Head honcho of the Weirdos presents a brand new show whose about offices in the 80s. Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 20:30, 20th February. Paid

Ali Brice: Wear My Hat - New show from moustachioed Weirdo. Might have Eric Meat in it. Might involve Ali being sad about stuff. Heroes @ The Criterion, 16:30, 20th February. Free

Alison Thea-Skot: Some Like It Thea-Skot - Alison brings her silly 2015 show, in which she feeds people grapes using her feet. Nonsense. The Regent Sports & Social Club, 19:30, 11th February. Paid

The Alternative Comedy Memorial Society - John-Luke Roberts and Thom Tuck's mixed bill of idiots marches on Leicester. Features me and Eleanor Morton among others. Heroes @ The Criterion, 20:15, 14th February. Paid

Andrea Hubert: Work-in-Progress - Cheerful-sounding work-in-progress stuff from Andrea, including a story about killing a dog. Heroes @ The Criterion, 16:40, 14th February. Paid

Andrew O'Neill: History Of Metal - Never liked metal. Iron Maiden are rubbish. Anyway, even I, with my dislike of metal, think that Andrew O'Neill is really fun. ECHOS, 21:00, 5th February. Paid

Ask The Industry Podcast: Live - Simon Caine brings us a live format of his podcast where he asks questions to comedy industry figures. And on Valentine's Day, no less. Peter Pizzeria, 16:00, 14th February. Free

Bec Hill: Caught On Tape - Bec's sell-out 2015 Edinburgh show, which explores our biggest regrets and has a good story about me getting on a train. Brew Dog, 21:30, 7th February. Paid

Becky, Sorcha, Dee Dee & Roo: Bob's Angels - Four of Bob Slayer's right-hand-women take to the stage to show everyone how it's done. Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 19:15, 19th February. Pay What You Want

Beth Vyse As Olive Hands In Game Of Hands (Work-in-Progress) - Silly old Beth resurrects her leopard-print TV show host alter-ego Olive Hands for a work-in-progress gameshow. Heroes @ The Criterion, 20:15, 20th February. Pay What You Want

Beth Vyse: As Funny As Cancer - And here Beth revisits her hit 2015 Edinburgh show that told the story of her struggle with cancer, with silly props. Heroes @ The Criterion, 15:30, 21st February. Pay What You Want

Bobby Mair - Grumpy Canadian Bobby Mair does stand-up. Is it work-in-progress? Is it old stuff? No idea, doesn't say. Just his name. That's all he needs, he's that good. The Cookie, 20:00, 14th February. Paid

Bucket - Ed Eales-White and Jon Pointing joined forces in 2014 to form a new sketch double act. It was very good, and now you can see them in Leicester! Juke Box, 19:00, 3rd February. Paid

Burning Duck Comedy Club Showcase - A roadshow from Al Greaves's lovely York-based alt comedy club. Lineup as-yet unconfirmed, but it's sure to be a bunch of greats. Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 19:15, 21st February. Pay What You Want

Candy Gigi: Chicken Soup - Candy brings her 2015 show to Leicester, which I think involved her giving birth to a chicken carcass and some other weird stuff. Heroes @ The Criterion, 17:50, 21st February. Paid

Cheekykita: A Mancunian Horror-ish Fish Tale - Nuts clown Cheekykita channels the great spooky ghost stories of old in her latest spooky outing. Heroes @ The Criterion, 19:00, 10th February. Free

Chris Betts: Social Animal - Be-bearded Canadian presents his 2015 show, in which he dissects the social goings-on in bars. Peter Pizzeria, 18:30, 11th February. Paid

Christian Talbot Is Shite At Being Irish - Christian's lovely 2015 show, featuring the world's best anti-craic jokes. The Looking Glass, 20:30, 11th February. Paid

Comedian's Cinema Club: Split Screen - Eric Lampaert's very silly cinematic concept show, in which a bunch of comics (mysefl included) will be recreating Speed on a bus. Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus & Heroes @ The Criterion, 21:30, 20th February. Paid

Comedy Club 4 Kids - Whether you have children, are a children or prefer things that are for children, this will do the job nicely. De Montfort Hall, 14:00, 13th February. Paid

Comedyopoly: Board Games With Comedians - This is basically Bob Slayer on a bus playing Monopoly with comedians. What's not to like? Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 17:00 6th-7th, 12th-14th, 20th-21st February, 19:15 11th, 16th-18th February. Pay What You Want

Dane Baptiste: New Stuff - His first show got nominated for the Foster's and his second one is going on a massive tour, so this new one will probably be good too. The Cookie, 20:00, 6th February. Paid

Darren Walsh In S'Pun - The UK's first ever Pun Champion continues to be alarmingly good at very silly one-liners. Heroes @ The Criterion, 20:15, 4th-5th February. Pay What You Want

David Elms: Follow That Boy! - Dreamy-eyed troubadour presents a new show that continues to explore life and love. Duffy's Bar, 20:45, 6th February. Paid

David Mills: Don't Get Any Ideas - David Mills could just sit and talk about literally anything for hours, and it'd be incredible. One of the greats. The Little Theatre, 20:45, 20th February. Paid

David Trent: How Is This Helping? - In which David presents a new show that may or may not involve slideshows and shouting. Another one of the greats. Heroes @ The Criterion, 21:30, 13th February. Paid

Doug Segal: How To Read Minds And Influence People - Doug Segal is kind of like a more fun Derren Brown, with more impressive contraptions. Yet another one of the greats. Kayal, 19:50, 4th February. Paid

Ed Aczel: The Random Flapping Of A Butterfly's Wings - Every comedian's favourite comedian. Certainly mine. Top five, anyway. He's definitely one of the greats. Heroes @ The Criterion, 20:15, 6th February. Paid

Eleanor Morton: Allotted Mucking Around Time - Eleanor's very silly and very lovely 2015 show. One of my very favourites from this year, one of the greats, in fact. Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 19:15, 20th February. Paid

Elf Lyons: Work-in-Progress - New stuff from everybody's favourite comedy tube enthusiast. I reckon I'd go so far as to say that Elf is one of the greats. Duffy's Bar, 20:45, 12th February. Paid

Eric Lampaert: Alien Of Extraordinary Ability - Eric does a good impression of a famous serial killer in this one, and has some funny things to say about America and space. Guess what Eric is? One of the greats. The Cookie, 17:00, 21st February. Paid

Evelyn Mok: Under Construction - New stuff from the woman Beth Vyse called "One of my favourite, favourite acts on the circuit - Evelyn Monk!" She's great. Wish I'd not started this "One of the greats" thing, don't know how to stop it without specifically looking like I'm saying that person isn't great. The Cookie Comedy Club @ The Globe, 21:00, 8th February. Paid

Felicity Ward: What If There Is No Toilet? - Last time I saw Felicity she was doing a great impression of a chimp at ACMS. Don't think it's in her show, but I heard it was brilliant either way. Maybe, because everybody loves Felciity loads, I can get away wtih not saying "One of the greats" and sort of phase it out? Oh, I've done it now. Firebug, 19:30, 12th February. Paid

Gareth Morinan: Height - Gareth is fed up with being discriminated on the basis of his height, so he's going to do an angry multimedia rant about it. Oh, I've got to bring "One of the greats" back here because Gareth will get cross if I don't say he's one of the greats. Heroes @ The Criterion, 20:15, 19th February. Free

Gary Tro & Richard Todd: Work-in-Progress - Gary Tro always Likes everything I post on Facebook. Lovely guy. Richard Todd's good too. The Belmont Hotel, 21:00, 17th February. Paid

Goose: Kablamo! - Stream-of-consciousness silly stories accompanied by energetic mime and physical nonsense. The Little Theatre, 21:00, 19th February. Paid

Grainne Maguire: Great People Making Great Choices - Grainne was in that BBC documentary about Jeremy Corbyn. She's a big fan. You should be a big fan of her, too. The Belmont Hotel, 19:00, 6th & 13th February. Free

Hall & Edhouse: The Two Syds 2 - Ian Hall and Bruce Edhouse team up again for more silliness following a run on the BlundaBus in Edinburgh this year. These guys are two of the greats. Heroes @ The Criterion, 19:00, 11th February. Pay What You Want

Harriet Kemsley: Good Girl (Work-in-Progress) - Having conquered her irrational fears in her debut show, everyone's favourite feminist mermaid tackles new obstacles in her new show. The Cookie, 18:30, 14th February. Paid

Henry Von Stifle: Enter The Dragon - Paul Dance's daft character has always been fun, but is even better now as he recreates a spy thriller to the soundtrack of Enter The Dragon. Heroes @ The Criterion, 19:00, 17th February. Pay What You Want

The Honky Bonk History Of The Beatles - Dan Lees, Neil Frost and Ben Whitehead's clownish retelling of the Beatles' rise to fame, featuring Marny Godden as Yoko. Heroes @ The Criterion, 22:45, 12th February. Free

Ian Hall: Ianertia - Ian is a very silly man and one of the great legends of the Leicester comedy scene. I keep missing his shows, but I'm gonna try not to this year! The Cookie, 17:00, 6th February. Paid

Ian Lane: Aloof! - Ian Lane always reminds me of Wolverine because of his big hair. He does a good impression of a screen saver. The Exchange Bar, 21:15, 10th February. Free

Ian Smith: Whereabouts - Ian's 2014 show was one of my favourites. I missed his 2015 show, but here's your chance to see it if you missed it too! Peter Pizzeria, 20:45, 10th February. Paid

Ivo Graham: Work-in-Progress - A lovely boy presenting us with his brain's latest findings. Always a lot of fun. The Cookie Comedy Club @ The Globe, 21:00, 9th February. Paid

James Acaster: Reset (Work-in-Progress) - Four-time Foster's nominee is back with a brand new show! This one'll win it, probably. The Cookie, 20:00, 17th February. Paid

James Ross: Leopardoptera - James's high-energy, very shouty, very silly, 2015 show. The Looking Glass, 20:30, 7th February. Paid

Jason Neale's Footprint - In which Jason gets trodden on and has a big footprint on his head. The Criterion, 21:30, 4th & 11th February. Pay What You Want

Jasper Cromwell Jones & Friends - Joe Bor returns as his privately educated, mountain-climbing alter ego to present a mixed bill of silliness. The Belmont Hotel, 19:00, 19th February. Paid

Jody Kamali: Spectacular! - Jody presents an audacious hour of magic and vaudeville showmanship involving carrier bags and ironing boards. Heroes @ The Criterion, 20:15, 16th-18th. Pay What You Want

Joe Lycett: That's The Way, A-Ha, A-Ha, Joe Lycett - Joe Lycett's always been great, then this year I saw him playing Nigella Farage at ACMS and remembered just how good he is. Go see him. The Cookie Comedy Club @ O2 Academy, 20:00, 21st February. Paid

Joel Dommett: Conquer - Howard Cohen told me this was the best show of 2015, and I quite like Howard Cohen. Loughborough Town Hall, 20:00, 4th February. Paid

Joey Page: Catastrophe Party - In the poster for this one, Joey's in a coffin covered in balloons. So I guess it's about death and balloons or something? Peter Pizzeria, 18:30, 18th February. Paid

John Hastings: Marked From The Start - John Hastings is a lovely Canadian man who agrees with me that the best track on Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere is the title track. Peter Pizzeria, 18:30, 6th February. Paid

John Kearns: Work-in-Progress - John's been off in the wilderness for a year (filming Top Coppers), carefully planning his return. This is his return, and I'm very excited about it. He's one of the greats, I reckon. You heard it here first. The Cookie, 20:00, 13th February. Paid

John Otway And Wild Willy Barrett - This is exciting. Punk rock's greatest idiot reunited with his classic-era right-hand man. O2 Academy, 20:00, 20th February. Paid

John Robertson's The Dark Room - The cult live choose-your-own-adventure game from smiley Australian man John Robertson, who owes me £1.50 for a copy of Papillon I'm going to lend him. Heroes @ The Criterion, 22:45, 6th February. Pay What You Want

John-Luke Roberts: Stdad-Up - Another of my very favourites from 2015. John-Luke Roberts dresses up with balloons and pays tribute to his dead father. Similar to Joey Page's show, then, at least in its "balloons and death" themes. Heroes @ The Criterion, 16:40, 14th February. Paid

Johnny Vegas Is Unprepared But Ready - I've never actually seen Johnny Vegas live, but he was very good in Bleak House, wasn't he? Just The Tonic @ Hansom Hall, 18:30, 20th February. Paid

Jordan Brookes: Adventures In Limited Space - One of those shows that kept under the radar during Edinburgh but that everyone was raving about afterwards. Very excited to finally see it. Duffy's Bar, 20:30, 7th February. Paid

Josie Long & Friends - Josie Long is one of the greats. Here she is with some friends being funny. Firebug, 20:00, 17th February. Paid

Joz Norris: Breakfast Of Champions - Overly-ambitious solo show performed in two adjacent venues at the same time by this big idiot. Best show in Leicester, probably. Heroes @ The Criterion & Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 13:00, 20th February. Free

LetLuce In Seamen (A Naval Tale) - Lots of nautical cartoony nonsense from Letty and Lucy. One of the most joyously silly shows this year, apparently. I've still not seen it. Heroes @ The Criterion, 19:00, 20th February. Free

Lewis Schaffer Is Free Until Famous, £7.50 - Lewis has added another £2.50 to the price tag of his "Free Until Famous" show, so he must be doing great. Just The Tonic @ Hansom Hall, 19:45, 12th February. Paid

Marny Godden: Flap 'Em On The Gate - Marny's first solo show post-Grandees, featuring silly characters like Wilmot Brown and Mo Moses. One of the grates. Heroes @ The Criterion, 21:30, 19th February. Pay What You Want

Mat Ewins Will Make You A Star - Mat's show last year featured him being a crap magician and a crap cabaret singer among others. A self-help guru format is a very exciting prospect. Did anyone notice how I spelt "greats" on that last one? Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 19:15, 6th February. Pay What You Want

Matt Winning: Mugabe & Me (3D) - Another of the shows I'm annoyed I missed. All Matt's stuff is great fun, and this was his debut show which lots of people have said great things about. And it's in 3D. Heh heh. "Grates." The Cookie, 18:30, 16th February. Paid

Matthew Highton: I, The Universe - Matt had a year off, but is back with a new storytelling show about space, gods and dying universes. Geddit? Grates? Heroes @ The Criterion, 14:20, 20th February. Pay What You Want

Max And Ivan: The End - Excellent sketch fun set in a quiet little town about to experience an apocalypse. The Cookie, 20:00, 3rd February. Paid

Michael Brunstrom: The Hay Wain Reloaded - One of comedy's greatest oddballs, and the man behind Dorito Fish, returns to Leicester with more unique stunts and oddities. Heroes @ The Criterion, 15:30, 20th February. Free

Michael Stranney & Olaf Falafel: Expect The Unexporcupine - Olaf pretends to be Swedish, and to be called Olaf. Michael IS Irish, but pretends to be a different Irish man to the one he is. It's complicated. Heroes @ The Criterion, 20:15, 9th February. Free

Mr Susie's Interstellar Bobbins - After saving cabaret from annihilation in his 2015 show, Mark Davison's silly alien character returns with more nonsense. Heroes @ The Criterion, 19:00, 6th February. Paid

Nathan Cassidy: 42 (Preview) - I forgot to include Nathan on the first version of this list, but I don't think anyboy noticed. Kayal, 21:10, 13th February. Paid

Nathan Willcock: State Of The Nathan (Work-in-Progress) - I did stand-up with Nathan back in the early days at UEA, and he's since become an excellent satirical comic. Go see. Manhattan 34, 21:30, 10th February. Free

Nevermind The Bus Stops - Bob Slayer's late-night afterparty show, featuring stories and games and drinking. Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 21:45 3rd, 5th-7th, 11th, 14th, 16th-19th, 21st, 22:45 12th, 13th, 20th. Pay What You Want

Nish Kumar & Masud Milas Work-in-Progress Double Bill - Nish's show last year was a massive hit and everyone loved it, and Masud is one of the best emerging comics, so this'll be a double bill worth seeing. Just The Tonic @ Hansom Hall, 18:00, 7th February. Paid

No Such Thing As A Fish With The QI Elves - Dan Schreiber and pals present a live version of the QI Podcast, full of loads of cool facts you can impress everyone with. The Y, 17:00, 21st February. Paid

Norman Lovett: Entertaining Moaner - I've still not seen Norman Lovett live, which I must amend. Red Dwarf's good, though, innit? Heroes @ The Criterion, 19:00, 19th February. Paid

The Order Of The Silly Billies - Jack Gardner's still not forgiven me for that time I said Northerners were shit, but I'm recommending his collective of oddballs and clowns anyway because I think he's great. Heroes @ The Criterion, 21:30, 17th-18th February. Pay What You Want

Pappy's Flatshare Slamdown - The best sketch group around present a live edition of their hit flatshare-based podcast. Firebug, 17:00, 7th February. Paid

Pappy's: Live At Firebug! - And as if that weren't enough, Pappy's will also be presenting some of their best sketches too! Three of the grits. Firebug, 20:00, 7th February. Paid

Pat Cahill: Panjandrum - Pat's gloriously stupid show, replete with knees-ups and wartime singalongs, should be seen by absolutely everybody. Grits. What am I like? The Cookie Comedy Club @ The Globe, 21:00, 17th February. Paid

Paul Currie Presents FFFFFFFMILK! - A brand new show from Paul, likely to feature as much mess and chaos and stupidity as ever. Paul Currie's one of the traits. Heroes @ The Criterion, 20:15, 7th February. Paid

Paul Duncan McGarrity: Today Is The Good Old Times Of Tomorrow - Paul is an archaeologist, and tells us all about the funny side of history and archaeology and stuff. That last one of mine didn't really work, did it? Kayal, 21:10, 18th February. Paid

Penny Matthews: It's Life, Jim, But It's Shit - Penny's 2015 Leicester show was full of great ideas and lovely arts-and-crafts moments, and I'm very excited to see what she's come up with this year. Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 16:00, 20th February. Free

Phil Jarvis: Kafka Or Magaluf - Reliably the oddest thing in Leicester this year, probably. Phil's Hokum in Edinburgh was apparently one of those things you had to see in order to even remotely comprehend it. I won't bother trying to describe his stuff. Heroes @ The Criterion, 22:45, 20th February. Free

Phil Kay: Megabusy - More stories and ramblings and music and nonsense from lovely Phil. Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 20:30, 12th-14th February. Paid

Pierre Novellie - Not sure what this is. Pierre's also doing a work-in-progress show in Leicester, so this one can't be work-in-progress. But it's got no title, so it can't be his 2015 show. What's he up to? Typical shady behaviour from old Sneaky Novellie. Peter Pizzeria, 20:30, 17th February. Paid

Pippa Evans: There Are No Guilty Pleasures - In which Pippa chats about how much she loves mid-80s Alan Parsons Project offshoot Keats, or something. They're my guilty pleasure, anyway. The Cookie, 18:30, 9th February. Paid

Rachel Parris: Work-in-Progress - Rachel gave us a bunch of excellent diva characters in her last show, but I think she's back to herself this year with more great songs. One of the plates. The Cookie, 18:30, 12th February. Paid

Robbie Ormrod: Wormland - The guy behind the lovely Tickled Pig club presents his debut show, about dads and sons and stuff. Ugh. Plates. 113 is too many, really, isn't it? The Exchange Bar, 19:00, 5th-7th February. Free

Rousha Browning: Jumble Sale - A solo show from Heroes regular Rousha, in which she tells stories through random discarded objects. Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 20:30, 19th Feburary. Free

Sam Simmons Is Not A People Person - New stuff from the 2015 Foster's winner. Expect more lunacy and food being chucked around and fun stuff like that. The Cookie, 18:30, 21st February. Paid

Sara Pascoe And The Museum Of Robot Pussycats - I hope there's an actual museum of robot pussycats in this and it's not just a funny title, but even if there isn't Sara's good enough to win everybody over anyway. "Oh no, no robot pussycats!" they'll say. "Hold on, is that Sara Pascoe? I'm sold!" Peter Pizzeria, 13:00, 7th February. Paid

Sarah Callaghan: 24 (Preview) - Sarah presents her brand new album, featuring the hit singles "Rolling In The Deep" and "Someone Like You." The Cookie, 18:30, 13th February. Paid

Simon Caine: Buddhism And Cats - Simon Caine talks about Buddhism and cats for an hour. And about Friends for a bit. The Exchange Bar, 19:00, 11th-12th February. Free

Simon Munnery: And Nothing But - I promised Simon I was going to see his show in Edinburgh and I didn't make it. I feel really bad about it. The Cookie, 20:00, 9th February. Paid

Sofie Hagen: Bubblewrap - Another chance to see Sofie's Foster's-winning debut show, which is about Westlife. Heroes @ The Criterion, 19:00, 5th & 7th February. Paid

Sofie Hagen: Work-in-Progress - And, on the Bus, Sofie does a work-in-progress hour to prepare a brand new show. Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 20:30, 5th & 7th February. Pay What You Want

Spencer Jones Presents The Herbert In Proper Job - The childishly silly prop-heavy extravaganza that became the award-winning performers' choice Edinburgh show in 2015. Heroes @ The Criterion, 19:00, 21st February. Paid

Spencer Jones Presents The Herbert In Pound Shop - And much like Sofie, over on the Bus, Spencer will be assembling ideas for his new show too. Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 20:30, 21st February. Free

Stuart Laws: Who Said Anything About Stopping It? (1 Hr Show) - Stu talks bowling, honking, anachronisms and more. The Cookie, 15:30, 14th February. Free

Tez Ilyas: TEZ Talks - Tez got all pernickety about my Best Shows In Edinburgh list, wrongly thinking it was alphabetical (it was, he was right). Go see his show. He's one of the greats. The Cookie Comedy Club @ The Globe, 21:05, 13th February. Paid

Thom Tuck - August Institution - Thom didn't do a stand-up show this year because he was in a play as an ancient clown. So here he is, letting us know what his brain's been up to in the meantime. Heroes @ The Criterion, 17:50, 14th February. Paid

Tim Renkow: Kim Jong-Un, Mohammed, Jesus And Other Power-Hungry Maniacs - Tim is the expert at smart and brilliant black comedy and you should all go see him. Heroes @ The Criterion, 19:00, 12th February. Paid

Tim Shishodia: Scurochiaro - One of my very favourite comedians since my very first gig. He conitunes to be brilliant every time. Heroes @ The Criterion, 17:50, 20th February. Pay What You Want

Tom Parry: Yellow T-Shirt & Matthew Crosby: Smaller Than Life - Two thirds of Pappy's present their critically acclaimed solo shows from the 2015 Fringe. Just The Tonic @ Hansom Hall, 19:15, 6th February. Paid

Tom Ward: Work-in-Progress - Tom has been being quietly excellent every time for a long time, so is on the brink of doing a really great debut show, I reckon. This will probably be him getting it ready. Heroes @ Bob's BlundaBus, 21:45, 12th-13th. Pay What You Want

Tom Wragg: Genius - Harry Deansway's latest protege. I always like Harry's proteges, so this will be fun. Grays @ LCB Depot, 19:30, 12th February. Free

Tony Law: Frillemorphesis - Yet another master of nonsense bringing more silliness to Leicester. One of the Tates (as in, the galleries). The Cookie, 21:30, 16th February. Paid

Valdemar Pustelnik: A Sensitive Viking (Work-in-Progress) - Valdemar's done shows about sheep and about loneliness, and now here's a new one about sensitivity. He's great. The Regent Sports & Social Club, 19:30, 4th February. Paid

Viv Groskop: Be More Margot - Viv explained the title to me the other day and I've forgotten what she said. Good title, though. Heroes @ The Criterion, 17:50, 7th February. Paid

Will Seaward Has A Good Go At Alchemy - In which Will tries to turn base metals into gold. Heroes @ The Criterion, 19:00, 14th February. Pay What You Want