Forgive the inconsistencies of my communication here lately. I have been, as they say, “on tour.” Having never toured a show beyond its Edinburgh Fringe and subsequent Soho Theatre run before, I had no idea what being on tour entailed, really. So far I would say that its primary function is to make you feel like you’re doing something. Gone are the days of my responding to the question “What are you up to at the moment?” with vague, apologetic utterances of “Irons in the fire” or “Working on a few different projects.” These days, I stand my ground and slam down “I’m touring my show” onto the table like a thick slab of meat – undeniable, formidable, impregnable.

Shortly before embarking on my first ever tour, I was given some great advice by a fellow comedian, who I won’t name in case this inadvertently outs him when it’s his turn to follow this advice himself. “The great thing about going on tour,” he said, “is that nobody needs to know how the shows actually go. After each one you just post an Insta story that says “Lovely tour show in [CITY] tonight – hope you got home safe, [AUDIENCE MEMBER’S NAME]!” and that’s it. To the rest of the world, it looks like the tour is going great regardless of what’s actually happening. You could be playing to six people per night who hate it, and nobody need ever know.”

This is great advice, but the potential dishonesty of it didn’t sit well with me. It is not the Joz Norris Way (trademark pending). And so, in the name of full transparency, I have decided this week to publish my journals from the first leg of the tour in January, shortly before it resumes THIS WEEK in Brighton on Wednesday, and Amsterdam on Friday! As you’ll see, the tour has been going really well, and I’m very proud of myself for doing it.

DATE 1 – LEEDS (Pre-Show) – Ye gods, what a hellish drive! I can’t believe I’ve come all this way for the people of Leeds, who from what I can tell so far are universally stupid, ugly and uncool. Let’s hope they at least have good taste in comedy! Mind you, who am I to criticise someone for these qualities given the company I keep? My technician and touring companion, James, has proven himself on this drive to be the most simpering, moronic boob I ever could have hoped to employ for this blasted tour. Every time I demanded that he “put the pedal to the floor, man, I want to feel this baby at top speed!” he flatly refused and lectured me on speed limits and road safety, no matter how clear I made it that I need to experience extreme G-force in order to give a good performance. I had to settle for holding my breath for a really really long time instead, which is nowhere near as effective, but that’s what happens when you work with a big nerd, I guess. Our frank exchange of views on the matter seems to have created some tension, and I notice that he is now trying to get his own back by clanging around in the tech booth INCREDIBLY loudly. Can’t he see that I’m trying to write in my journal? Tonight at the end of the show, rather than gesturing to the tech booth to invite applause, I will instruct the audience to boo him and then laugh at him as he no doubt blubs, the big baby. At least then some good will have come out of this god-forsaken trip.

DATE 1 – LEEDS (Post-Show) – As I suspected, the people of Leeds are morons with bad taste who wouldn’t know good comedy if it came to be performed in their city in the from of an award-winning, multi-award-nominated, 5-star critically acclaimed sellout smash hit show. The only bit that seemed to win their support was the bit at the end where I invited them to boo James, whereupon they misunderstood what I was doing and began applauding him instead. Takes one to know one, I suppose! (A stupid idiot, that is). Hold on, James is coming over to ask when we’re going to leave. I’m showing him what I’ve written right now. I’m still writing, though. He’s having trouble reading it because my hand is in the way because I’m still writing. But I can’t stop writing because otherwise there’ll be an unnatural break in the tex

He was very hurt. Good! Maybe tomorrow in Oxford he’ll remember to tech the show in a way that makes it good and funny, instead of relying entirely on me. What a disastrous first performance. Anyway, hope you got home ok, Gary!

DATE 2 – OXFORD (Pre-Show) – James has been behaving in an exemplary manner all day. Clearly he became aware of all the ways in which he disappointed his master on day one, and has decided to work hard to repair the relationship for this make-or-break second date of the tour – our first sellout, I might add! Shame it’ll be another room full of halfwitted, uncool ugly dopes who probably wouldn’t know comedy if it fell out of the sky and told them a really funny joke, but a full room is a full room nonetheless. Anyway, James has gone above and beyond all day – tickling my tummy throughout the drive, letting me choose what music we listen to (“Sharp Dressed Man” by ZZ Top on a loop for two hours), all the usual ways in which a manservant shows his fealty to his lord. Let’s hope the show goes just as smoothly as today’s drive! The theatre manager is asking if we want to do a “sound check.” The poor fool! Does he not realise I performed this show every day for a month at the Edinburgh Fringe, to unanimous adoration? I think I know what sounds I’m supposed to make! I’m laughing as I write this. It really is quite alarming taking a show out on tour and meeting the people who work in the theatres all across our great nation, where we stage our #art – they really are totally clueless! I can’t stop laughing.

DATE 2 – OXFORD (Post-Show) – Forgot to do the show. I was laughing so hard at this “sound check” concept that I became hysterical, writhing on the floor unable to breathe, and had to take myself on a walking tour of Oxford in order to calm down. Ridiculous city. Apparently this was where The Lord of the Rings was written, but you wouldn’t know it from wandering around the place. “Excuse me,” I asked a bobby on the beat, “is there some sort of indoor Lord of the Rings experience where I can get a selfie with Gollum?” No there wasn’t, he replied. What do people come to Oxford for then? Dumb, dumb, dumb. When I got back to the theatre, I was told that I had missed the show and the audience had all demanded refunds. He honestly seemed to think I would be upset! “Err, hello?” I said, my eyes rolling indpendently around their sockets. “I can afford to pay them their refunds, I can do it using the money they paid me for their tickets! It’s literally no skin off my nose whatsoever!” I laughed to myself – did these people not understand simple economics? The show had sold out, that’s all I cared about. Anyway, hope you got home ok, Sarah!

DATE 3 – NORWICH (Pre-Show) – The Prodigal Son Returns. The city that spawned my vertiginous comedy career was now welcoming me back, like some kind of womb that lets babies back in later [NB come back and edit this sentence, don’t think it makes any sense]. James has been awfully quiet all day – no doubt trying not to let slip the big surprise homecoming party he’s probably been planning for me along with all my old friends from the area. I must say, it’s rather exciting to think about how different the show will feel here to all its other outings. Most comedy shows don’t start with the audience audibly gasping at how much the comedian has blossomed and come into his own during his years away – his confidence, his good looks, his undeniable skill at comedy. Come to think of it, I actually think every punchline will get a gasp instead of a laugh, because the audience will be just so impressed! People will call it a “gasp-a-minute show!” Yes. Yes, I really think they might!

DATE 3 – NORWICH (Post-Show) – I always knew Norwich was a shit city full of ugly uncool idiots. My old uni friends seemed to think that they needed to keep saying things like “Hey, it wasn’t that bad!” or “It was really great to see you, anyway, I personally really loved it!” The fools – couldn’t they see that that was totally unnecessary? It didn’t matter how many times I screwed up my entire face and shouted “I don’t even care, the audience were shit, they clearly don’t know anything about anything, now let’s go and get fucked like the old days, or do you all have jobs and families now or whatever??”, they just kept thinking I needed consoling. Personally, I’m glad the show went the way it did – if that audience had liked it, it would mean I was really bad at comedy. I think I even heard one of them say to their friend “The reason I didn’t like that is because the comedy I like is bad” as they were leaving, so that proves it. Anyway, hope you got home safe, Adrian!

I can’t WAIT for the tour to resume in March when hopefully we’ll do it for some actually good audiences of smart people who like stuff. There must be SOME out there!

AUTHOR’S NOTE – I genuinely sat down intending to write an actual account of what the tour’s been like so far, what I’ve learned from it, what I’ve most enjoyed etc, but in the act of writing, this felt much more fun, and I think is better promo anyway. Honestly, the tour’s been a delight. I’m bowled over by the lovely full rooms we’ve been playing, and the amazing reactions from people afterwards, and it’s been really fascinating seeing how different spaces change the way the show feels and evolves over the hour. It’s so easy to think that performing a show at the Fringe and then in London for a bit means everyone who wants to see it has seen it, because the Fringe and London comedy scenes feel like big bubbles. It’s been amazing meeting people around the country who’ve really loved the show, and expanding my horizons of what it’s possible to achieve and who it’s possible to reach with a single show.

As I said, this week it’s coming to Brighton and Amsterdam, then we’re doing Bristol and Cardiff, then Glasgow and Edinburgh, then we’re back in Soho in April. I’m loving it so much and if it’s coming to any places near you I’d love you to come along to it! If you’ve seen it and enjoyed it and would like to spread the word to other friends who might enjoy it too, that’s also hugely appreciated. I’m managing this entire tour by myself (with the incredible support and hard work of James Hingley, who is obviously brilliant) and I’ve been really pleasantly surprised by the great sales so far considering how much of a small indie project it’s been, but every little helps as it rolls on to more towns and cities, so if you felt like helping to spread the word I would appreciate it so much. Maybe see you on the road somewhere!

A Cool New Thing In Comedy – The amazing Joe Kent-Walters has teamed up with Sam O’Leary to make an excellent mini sketch show for Channel 4 called Bad Eggs which co-stars the likes of Molly McGuinness and Mikey Bligh-Smith. It’s gross and weird and stupid and brilliant and you can watch it here.

What’s Made Me Laugh The Most – I sent a funny video to Miranda’s three-year-old niece because I thought it would make her laugh and was sent a video back of her watching the whole thing in total silence, then saying “What’s he doing?” and it’s the most brutal takedown of my work I’ve ever seen.

Book Of The Week – Letters From A Young Poet by Rabindranath Tagore, in which he travels around India on boats and writes to his own niece to muse on philosophy and nature and poetry and shit. History does not record whether or not she responded by saying “What’s he doing?” It seems like a more spirited correspondence judging from his side of it, but you never know.

Album Of The Week – Ege Bamyasi by Can. Shoutout to Andy Barr for initially trying to get me into Can last year – sadly my albums list is so long it takes me approximately a year to follow up on a recommendation, but I’m finally in a position to identify as a Can fan. These guys are absolutely crazy! That rhythm section! My word!

Film Of The Week – The Secret Agent. It’s now mandatory for the Oscars to nominate one film about the military dictatorship in Brazil during the 70s per year, and this does a fine job of taking up the baton from 2025’s I’m Still Here. It’s about a left-wing academic who’s had to go into hiding but it’s such a vast, sprawling, novelistic film and really takes its time unfolding what the story actually is so I’m reluctant to say much more. It involves a shark and a leg and it’s really brilliant, I loved it.

That’s all for this week! Let me know what you thought, and if you enjoyed the newsletter and felt like sending it on to a friend or encouraging others to subscribe, I’d really appreciate that. Take care of yourselves until next time!

Joz xx

PS Feel free to send me a tip on Ko-Fi if you enjoy my work and would like to support me to keep making it!

PPS Look at this pissed-off mallard I found in an Air BnB:

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